You know, a relationship crisis is an incredibly painful and emotional experience, and it is no surprise that most women who are caught in this emotional upheaval do more to harm their relationship than help it! When a person is faced with this unfortuitous turn of events, heartbreak, frustration, and fear drive their actions, and they inadvertently destroy their relationship. The best thing you can do in a situation like this is take a step back, take a deep breath, and clear your mind! This will prevent you from harming the chance of saving your relationship!
Let' examine the four things you shouldn't do, then I'll tell exactly what you should do!
1. Telling him that you'll change to save your relationship
Reassuring him that you won't; complain anymore, be controlling, won't lie, be jealous, or have another affair never works. You see, all of the talking is over at this point in the crisis, and actions will have to speak louder than words. What you're really saying when you tell him you've changed is; give me my way because I don't really care what you want. This will only cause him to pull away from you and will hurt your chances of saving the relationship. You see when it comes to saving a relationship actions really do speak louder than words! If your relationship has reached a point of crisis, there isn't anything that you can say that will turn it around. So, you may as well save your breath!
You see, your partner has been asking you for a change and you haven't given him one! The only way to turn your relationship around is by proving that you changed, and not by saying you have. Forget about who's right or wrong. I'm sure your partner did several things to harm the relationship, but if you want to focus on blaming him, you will destroy your relationship. There's an old saying; "Being happy doesn't always go along with being right!" So, do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right? If you want to be happy focus on proving that you have changed and watch your partner change him self!
2. Saying that you love him to save your relationship
Telling your partner over and over again that you love him is like saying that you want something different than what he wants. He wants to pull away and you want him to come closer. There's a reason that he is pulling away, and what you're doing in essence is ignoring his needs. Saving a relationship is not about forcing the issue, it's about attraction! Love is really a matter of attraction since you can't force someone to love you, can you! You partner pulled away from you because you haven't been fulfilling his emotional needs, and your fears and insecurities have been causing you to damage the relationship. So, telling him that you love him will only push him further away. If you want to save your relationship refrain from saying I love you at this point. Instead tell him that you agree and understand why the relationship isn't working! That's right, agree! I'll show you exactly how to do this towards the bottom of this article!
3. Trying to change him to save a relationship
Plodding, pleading, and arguing with him in an attempt to get him to change never works. In fact, it is actually counterproductive to saving a relationship and is the quickest way to destroy it. Let's get one thing perfectly straight; YOU CAN"T CHANGE HIM!! No matter how hard you try, you can't change him, and attempting to do so will destroy your relationship. Only he can change himself! Now that you realize this critical case in point, your chances of saving your relationship just went from slim to probable!
4. Acting out of desperation to save a relationship
Desperation is not attractive to anyone, and when you say I love you please don't leave me, what your really saying is that I have very little self-confidence. Your sending a message that you know the world is full of good looking men, but you can't see that and you have very low self-esteem. Saving a relationship is all about showing your partner the confident woman he's always wanted. Your partner wants a woman that makes him feel like a man. He wants a woman that displays confidence or feminine grace. When faced with infidelity in a relationship most women think their man just gave in to a moment of sexual desire, or that it's just the way some men are. However that's not it at all! Other than sexual addiction being involved, 99% of the time it is because his emotional needs have gone unmet. Is committing infidelity wrong? Of course it is. By David Roppo
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