Relationship Advice For Men - Look at Evolution to Find Your Partner

What is the best relationship advice for men and what should men know and do if they want a relationship to work in the long term? Look at evolution to find your partner.

The first thing you must do is to stop listening to what women say they want and start observing what women actually show you that they want. This you can see from noting the type of man they pick.

They will say "I want a man who listens to me" but they select a man the man who takes over in a discussion. They will say, "I want a guy who is amusing company" but they go out with the man who has comfortable revenue.

Why do they say one thing and then go out and date the man is the total opposite? To answer this question you have to look at the subconscious motivation of women when they are looking for a mate and understand their mechanism.

When a woman searches for a man she is thinking unconsciously about founding a future family. Getting pregnant may be the last ting she is thinking about in her conscious mind, but when she judges a man she seeks a good father for her kids.

She does not choose this good father because he listens to her, but because he will feed the family and provide for the children. This man must be the type of person who makes her feel confident that he will do just this.

So women look for a good provider. Men can be sexually active through the nearly all their lives, often into their nineties, but women have only about 400 chances of mothering a baby. They therefore look for a man who will give the stability for her children over a long period of time.

A man will have a better prospect of getting his women if he can say "I am a business manager" rather than "I am a bookkeeper" because the woman will see the business manager as a better provider for her future family.

High revenue is not all the woman is looking for; she also needs to see her man as someone who will generous with his money when bringing up the family. For this reason women value highly value presents offered like jewelry.

When you get married you buy your future wife a ring, not just because it is for many reasons the thing to do, but because it displays that you actually are able to provide for her and the children she hopes will follow. This probably explains why it is so important to most couples that the engagement ring is such an expensive item.

Additionally, whilst most people earn more money using their brains than their brawn, in their sub conscious, women tend to think of strength as being the ability to provide. Woman thus select someone who likes sport rather than a computer expert, despite the fact that in financial terms the latter will likely have the better capacity to provide for her and the family

So the most important part of relationship advice to men is to work out what women, from an evolutionary view point, really want and give this to your true love.By Joe Bisley

Want to Get Back at Your Ex? Top Five Ways Revealed

Relationships are amazing; break ups on the other hand? Not so fun. Most break ups can get messy and it can leave one or both partners spiteful. It is completely natural to want your ex to feel the same stress and frustration that you have been feeling, but is getting back at your ex really the best way for you to come out on top? Well, it depends on how you go about it. You could go about it irrationally, by destroying their property or starting a nasty rumor about them. But in most cases this only makes you look childish and not the kind of person your ex (or anyone) would want to be with. Or you could get back at your ex the classy way, and still maintain your dignity. The best way to really get back at your ex is by showing them what they are missing out on, and how important you were (and still are) to them. These next five tips will have your ex going crazy! And not only are they a good ways to get back at your ex, but they are perfect methods for getting your ex back as well.

1. Be independent.
Stop looking desperate, and let your ex breathe! If you have been begging, clinging, or are a text message terrorist- stop now! Not only does this make you look needy, it also doesn't allow you ex to miss you. So, instead of devoting all your attention to your ex,make them think you are doing just fine without them. Trust me, when your ex begins to get the feeling that you have moved on, they will realize that they still want and need you around.

2. Minimize contact.
If you still want to work on your relationship, cutting off communication may seem like the exact opposite thing to do. But in reality, it is the MOST important step in getting back at your ex/ getting them back. So, do your best to take a break from them and talk/email/text as little as possible (not at all is best). During this time your ex will begin to think about you more, and in a better view. Why? Because they will miss you. Your ex will not only miss you but they will be able to see just how important your company is to them.

3. Show your passionate side.
No, not THAT kind of passionate. But let your ex see how sympathetic and flexible you are. Show them that you can listen, not just jump to conclusions without hearing them out (something that happens frequently during break up). So, you asked them to pick up their things by a certain date, but for some reason they can't? Be O.k. with it. This kind of carefree attitude will surprise your ex, and may urge them to start communicating with you more, and fix some of the problems that led to the break up. Think about it, would you rather discuss your problems with someone who was calm and would hear you out, or someone hysterical?

4. Put on your dancin' shoes!
After a break up, the worst think you can do for yourself is to stay at home dwelling on "what could have been." Instead, make sure you make your life as entertainment packed as possible, start a new hobby or meet up with old friends that you haven't seen in ages. You don't have to date, but you do need to be enjoying yourself. Not only will going out be therapeutic for you, but it will convince your ex that they are missing out on a fun, happy person.

5.Stay true to yourself.
Your ex once loved you for a really good reason; the person you are. Go back to being your old self and focusing on the things you used to do, this will allow your ex to remember why they were in a relationship with you in the first place. If you are confident and happy with yourself, it will be impossible for your ex not to notice, and feel the same. By Sofia L.

Couple Compatibility Questions Both Can Answer

What are the most important couple compatibility questions that both partners can answer to test your relationship compatibility? This question is asked by many couples, be it at the very beginning of dating each other, in a mature relationship or even after years of marriage. People change with time, you know...

Anyway, I personally know people who after 10 years of living together may incidentally look astonished at their partner and say to themselves in utter amazement: I have no idea who am I looking at! This is not a nice feeling and quite an awkward moment in your life to discover that you shared a bed with someone you don't quite have a idea about.

I mean do you know what the person feels, what emotions are in his or her heart? What thoughts go through his mind, what are her plans for the future. If you are serious about being partners, you better have a good grasp about what you have mutual agreements on and what you need to discuss and decide before going further in your relationship.

Couple compatibility questions should encompass, of course, the life in its fullest - the person himself, including body, food, sports activities, intellectual and spiritual life, and through many areas come to even his or her attitude toward volunteering or charity donations. People can feel quite an antagonism when not sharing some very high humanity beliefs, you know.

By Alexander Stern

First Impressions - Why They Are Sometimes Wrong

First impressions - it's so easy to get them wrong.

When we meet somebody new, we size that person up in just a few seconds.

A few seconds, that's all it takes to decide whether or not we like somebody, whether we trust them, whether or not we want to get to know them better. We make snap judgments about others all the time based on our first impressions of them. And other people are constantly making snap judgments about us too.

Once we make these snap judgments about other people, we rarely change our minds later.

We rarely change our minds after a first impression because humans are hard-wired to make snap judgments.

Why is this? It could be because our ancestors rarely had the luxury of taking weeks and weeks to decide which situations were dangerous for them and which situations were safe. If our ancestors came across a group of people while they were out hunting, they would have to decide within seconds whether these new people were friends or enemies.

If they judged wrong, they might not survive the encounter. We seem to have inherited this kind of brain, with its need to make snap judgments on others, based on first impressions. Our brains seem to have a built-in mechanism for deciding rather quickly which people we should trust, and which people we should avoid.

If a person seems a bit different to us, we may become suspicious or even hostile. If he doesn't look us in the eye, or if he says something the slightest bit odd, we may instantly and forever decide that this is a person we want nothing to do with.

So, are we always right in our first impressions of other people? Not necessarily. Sometimes we do change our minds about others, but it's rare. For us to change our minds about people after we have met them, we have to believe that they have somehow changed. We rarely think to ourselves that our initial impression of somebody was wrong.

Sometimes we get an odd feeling about somebody and it turns out that we are right, that person really is a crook or a serial killer.

Sometimes we get an odd feeling about somebody, and we are wrong. That person is simply a bit different, that's all. In fact, we might really find that person can become a treasured friend if we get to know them better.

Our tendency to make snap judgments about others is sometimes right and sometimes wrong.

Ask yourself if you are usually open to the people you meet, unless they prove that they are somehow untrustworthy?

Or, are you usually hostile and suspicious of others until you get to know them better?

If you have a tendency to be suspicious of those you meet until you know them better, you may be too judgmental. By being too judgmental, you may be cutting off the possibilities of good friendships and relationships.

On the other hand, if you are too trusting, you may end up getting exploited by people who will manipulate you for their own gain.

By Royane Rea

High School Relationship Advice - Relationship Advice From a Dating Diva

Are you in high school and in need of some high school relationship advice? When I was in there myself, I felt like life would never be more complicated than it was at that time. Classes, friends, family - nothing seemed to be simple. Doesn't every secondary school kid feel that way? Add into the mix a complicated relationship drama, and things can seem to be spinning even more out of control! One of the worst things about high school relationship complications, when compared to later in life, is that the participants in them have little to no control over their major life choices. Moving away, whether they can see this person, whether they have the same circle of friends as the one they love - all of these decisions are controlled by the adults in their lives.

However, even though when you're a kid you don't have control of the major changes, you do have control of the small ones. Here are three rules of thumb to keep your High School relationship on track and humming.

Rule One - Communicate with your partner in an open and honest way. Without open and honest communication, the relationship is doomed to failure no matter what else you try.

Rule Two - Have expectations that are realistic. Soap operas are fiction, no woman or man is going to be perfect and romantic all the time in a real relationship - especially when they are just starting out in the relationship game and learning all the rules about dealing with the opposite sex. Be patient, and realize that in real life, the world is populated by real people - meaning, flawed people.

Rule Three - Don't hang on too long. Know when it's time to leave the relationship. A relationship, especially a teenage relationship, should not be more drama than it is fun. It's not like you guys have three kids and mortgage. You can leave the relationship fairly cleanly. If it seems like you're yelling or crying more than you're laughing - get out of it!

Remember. Like all things in high school, relationships are primarily learning experiences. By Melanie Young

Relationship Problems: Solvable or Unsolvable

Every so often, I will hear a relationship speaker claim that they have never had a fight or problem in their marriage. My response to such a claim is that the person is either

1) lying or

2) certainly can't relate to me.

All love relationships have their share of problems, or to use the popular phrase, all relationships have issues.

In general, relationship issues can be divided into two categories:

solvable and unsolvable.

Solvable relationship problems

Solvable relationship problems are generally related to the needs you have in a relationship. An unmet need leads to a problem or issue. Some relationship needs are emotional needs and some are called functional needs. An emotional need is what you need to feel in order to feel loved in a relationship. A functional need is what you need for your life to work in a way that fits for you while in a relationship.

The good news is that needs are negotiable, and there are lots of ways to meet a need. The way to tell if something is a need for you or not, is that if it were not met, you would experience an issue every time. So meeting needs are very important, and are the difference between being happy or unhappy in a relationship.

Unsolvable relationship problems

Unsolvable relationship problems are generally related to what are called your requirements. Whether you are aware of it or not, whether you know them or not, you do have non-negotiable requirements. These requirements have to be met in order for a relationship to work for you. If even one of these requirements is missing the relationship will not work for you.

Requirements are relationship breakers. The problem is that we often treat our requirements as factors that are negotiable. They are not. Or we go into a relationship where we know an important factor does not exist, yet believe, hope or rationalize (rational lies) that somehow this will change once we get married.

By Jeff Herring

7 Simple Key Principles of Relationship Marketing to Attract Lifetime Customers!

Most of business owners fail to effectively attract and retain lifetime customers. What they fail to realize is the key principles of relationship marketing, that converts potential customers into repeat clients.

To succeed in your business, your main goal should be to build a responsive email list of lifetime customers from your targeted market who trust you, feel grateful to you and value your recommendation.

A good relationship with loyal customers is worth a fortune. That's the most valuable thing any business can have. The key here is to build your large list of lifetime customers who trust you. Achieve this and you're set for life.

For that reason you need to learn the key principles of relationship marketing to be able to apply relationship marketing concepts to your web site.

What's Relationship Marketing?

Relationship marketing is the method of gradually turning website visitors into subscribers and leads them from position to position along a planned program to convert them into life time customers.

Think of relationship building as the foundation to your business. It establishes you as a professional, trust worthy and a consistent source.

7 Key Principles of Relationship Marketing.

Building relationship online is more difficult when compared to offline relationship building. The techniques used are almost the same. But, turning a potential customer into lifetime customer offline is easier due to the nature of the process. In online marketing you can't meet your clients in person like in offline marketing. But, you can deliver what you want if you think of your potential clients in each step you make when building your business. Relationship marketing is a process, not just a one-time commitment. It starts the moment you think about building a business and continue as long as you stay in.

1 - Know your potential customers.

Before you start building your business; you need to determine your targeted market and know your potential customers. Learn how to know your customers to develop effective tactics for delivering your message to them.

You can start getting to know your customers by taking some very simple steps.

- Determine in advance where your potential customers congregate. - What newsletter they read? - What forums they visit and post to? - What else might do while surfing the net?

The best places where you find your prospects are forums, discussion groups and discussion boards. Visit forums of your targeted market and figure out:

- What's your potential customers' problem? What they are looking for? - What kind of business they are involved in? - How they want their problem to be solved? - What words they use?

Only by knowing your customers' wants and needs you can successfully grow your business and be totally customer-oriented. In order to tailor your marketing and advertising strategies to appeal to the tastes and interests of your market, you must first identify your customer.

Relationship is not only based on knowing who your visitors are, but on knowing your customers' and prospects' specific needs.

Note: To attract more subscribers and build a strong relationship marketing the easy way use your prospects words. If you feel their pain and use their words when posting to forums, sending message, etc... they'll be related to you. You will be one of them; you are not a stranger then they will be likely to trust you and consider your recommendation.

2 - Show your expertise.

The majority of business people, never completely and clearly display their knowledge to potential customers. Show to your targeted market you are the leader in your industry and they will follow you.

People like to learn about your experience. They like to follow the expert's steps to avoid mistakes and reach success the easy way with less investment in time and money.

3 - Start a dialog to establish trust.

Set up a continuing dialog to establish trust. Trust is a vital step to building long-time relationship. This dialog should starts as soon as your visitors submit information along with their email addresses. This explains their interest in your business. In return, you give them what promised when they subscribed and keep contacts at periodic intervals by sending quality information to your subscribers.

Your goal is to create long term relationships marketing with your subscribers. To do that you must invest time to gather available sources and high quality information and put it at your prospects' disposal to help them succeed. Remember, maintaining customer enthusiasm and creating customer loyalty is your key to success.

4 - Follow up

Dialog leads to follow-up. Hook your subscribers with your follow up messages series. Set up a series of follow up messages to send quality information to every new subscriber. Professionalism is the key to successful relationship.

The main purpose of follow up is to remain visible to your subscribers so, when the need arise and your prospect wants to make a purchase, your product will be the first one the subscriber thinks of.

If you want to make good money your mission will not cease at selling your product. Going after one sale is worthless. Following up with your customer after the sale is made is a great tactic. This important step will help you strength your relationship, decrease the refund proclamations and keep your customer baying from you again and a gain.

Keep following up; don't stop and be creative. Don't send your customers only sales messages. From time to time send free useful product they don't find elsewhere that can help them make money and/or save time. Send special offers with discount for loyal customers only. Keep them up to date and to the point with latest news, etc...

5 - Offer good customer service.

Some people will start an online business and only focus on what services or products they can sell to make good money. They are not worried about establishing good relationship with their customers and potential clients.

- Answer your prospects' requests as soon as you receive them.

- Replay to every email within 24 hours with the needed response whether it is a question, concern or simply someone looking for more information.

- Treat your customers right. Even if you offer the best products or services, most customers will evaluate your business by how they were treated while doing business with you. For that reason, it's important to take care of your customers and give them the best product or service they want.

By providing great customer service to the people you do business with, you will get customers coming back to you again and again to buy your products or services.

Note: If you want to stay in your customers' minds serve them better. You can do this by collecting information from your customers' feedback. Having a contacts page on your website with a comments or feedback form will keep you informed about your customers' wants and problems. If you publish a newsletter, you can also accomplish this by asking for feedback from your subscribers.

This is a great way of making your audience know you care about what they have to say and how important they are to you. When you show interest in your customers you will build credibility and loyalty.

6 - Educate your subscribers.

Put at your customers disposal manuals, frequently asked question (FAQ) web page, articles, etc... to help them learn how to use your product or service perfectly. Educate your subscribers to help them build interest and loyalty for your business.

Lifetime clients want you to be their trusted advisor. The more you educate your customers by offering them a variety of options, the greater your chance to earn their lifetime business. Education strengthens relationship marketing with clients.

7 - Sell or recommend only quality products.

Sell quality products that have value, plus offer a guarantee and stand behind it. One of the quickest ways to destroy a business relationship is selling poor quality products and not standing behind what you promise.

If you want to promote other marketers' affiliate programs from your website, take the time to investigate the companies you advocate. Promote only products from legitimate companies with solid Internet presence. Remember the companies you suggest will have an impact on your business reputation.

Relationship marketing is the corner stone of every business. If you follow these key principles of relationship marketing, you'll be on your way to building a responsive opt in email list which will lead to more and better sales. By Gley Yahya

Are You In The Process Of Ending a Relationship?

Are You In The Process Of Ending a Relationship?

It's a fact that ending a relationship is not something that we want to do, but we have to understand that when a relationship has gone bad, someone has to make the reasonable decision to terminate it.

Sometimes we need some good relationship break up advice to get through this and this is what I want to share with you now. The reality is that a lot of relationships carry on longer than they ought to because both partners are hoping that things will get better.

Every now and then a break up takes place in dramatic manner with clothes and other personal items get thrown out the window or in the garbage.Most times, the relationship just keeps sinking until someone says it's over.

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt?

You need to understand why you want to end the relationship. The first reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you realize the real reason, the next step in ending a relationship is to be direct. That means that in your conversation with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them. It's better to do it in person rather than over the phone.

Thats one of the most important relationship advice I can give you. Don't put your partner on the defensive. Discuss the things you�ve learned and the memories you'll cherish. Be there during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional and you will need to respond to their needs.

Don't take anything that your partner may say personally, they may say things they don't really mean. They may have to meet with you several times to end the relationship.

But you have to be strong and don't let them make you feel guilty. You're ready to launch a new stage in your life and it won't be with your ex. It is a good idea if you preserve a positive connection of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship with good intent, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever think of reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean it's over for good?

It's a choice you have to make. Nearly all relationships can be kept alive if certain situations are met. If you are commited to find the time and are willing to generate the effort, you can move through this time as an even stronger couple.

by Bob Fernicola

Are You In The Process Of Ending a Relationship?

Are You In The Process Of Ending a Relationship?

It's a fact that ending a relationship is not something that we want to do, but we have to understand that when a relationship has gone bad, someone has to make the reasonable decision to terminate it.

Sometimes we need some good relationship break up advice to get through this and this is what I want to share with you now. The reality is that a lot of relationships carry on longer than they ought to because both partners are hoping that things will get better.

Every now and then a break up takes place in dramatic manner with clothes and other personal items get thrown out the window or in the garbage.Most times, the relationship just keeps sinking until someone says it's over.

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt?

You need to understand why you want to end the relationship. The first reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you realize the real reason, the next step in ending a relationship is to be direct. That means that in your conversation with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them. It's better to do it in person rather than over the phone.

Thats one of the most important relationship advice I can give you. Don't put your partner on the defensive. Discuss the things you�ve learned and the memories you'll cherish. Be there during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional and you will need to respond to their needs.

Don't take anything that your partner may say personally, they may say things they don't really mean. They may have to meet with you several times to end the relationship.

But you have to be strong and don't let them make you feel guilty. You're ready to launch a new stage in your life and it won't be with your ex. It is a good idea if you preserve a positive connection of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship with good intent, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever think of reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean it's over for good?

It's a choice you have to make. Nearly all relationships can be kept alive if certain situations are met. If you are commited to find the time and are willing to generate the effort, you can move through this time as an even stronger couple.

by Bob Fernicola

Build Trust in a Relationship - 6 Great Ways

If you are looking to build trust in a relationship, here are six ways to start.

One, you want to be predictable, consistent and steady. Being reliable day in and day out builds trust. This doesn't mean be boring, it means giving your partner the ability to trust that you will act or respond in a certain way to various situations.

Two, what you say needs to match the message you are giving. Don't say you are happy but look depressed. This does not build trust.

Three, this might seem obvious, but it needs to be said - honesty. Keeping secrets in a relationship can be one of the quickest ways to destroy trust. Just assume everything will eventually come out, be honest.

Four, tell your partner what you need. Be open about what you want in the relationship as an individual. Don't be selfish, but in time if your needs aren't being met you won't be happy in the relationship. This might take some courage to share your needs, but it will be worth it in the long run.

Five, it is okay to say no. While it's great to tell your partner what you need and want, you don't always have to say yes. Trust can be built by you not knuckling under to every request by your partner.

Six, you want to grow, growth occurs through talking and sharing. Sometimes it might be difficult but it is a good thing.

Through building trust in a relationship, you might encounter some rough patches, but these will make you a better person and strengthen your relationship

by John Roberts

5 Ways To Get Over your Heart Break

Research shows that love has an effect on the pleasure centers in our brains just as with any addiction this makes it very difficult to get over.

So we must remember that love effects us neurologically as well as emotionally, these techniques will help you to get started with this process of getting over your broken heart.

If you are dealing with the grief and pain associated with heart break, here are five ways to help yourself get over it

Tip # 1

Take 5 -10 minutes every day to think about and visualize what you would like to have in the future. Imagine a life with someone else picture what attributes they have and how great this future relationship will be.

Tip # 2

Spend some time to feel good about yourself - take time out for some exercise, breathing, walk on the beach or through the forest ... use this time to think of the new future, anytime you dwell on the past breakup, change your thought - this is a conscious thought, just be aware of what you are thinking and change it!

Tip # 3

Firstly create a new exercise regime or join the gym. Start eating well, go through your wardrobe and get rid of any clothes you don't feel great in. Give yourself a makeover, search the internet for some natural treatments that you can do yourself, it needn't cost the earth!. The effort will be worth it.

Tip # 4

Be wonderful to yourself.Get away for the weekend - this will help you get out of your daily routine.

Alternatively enroll in a class or start a new creative hobby - join a new group so that you're out and about on a regular basis. Dancing or sports are fantastic because you are moving endorphins will be released in your brain which are happy hormones.

Tip # 5

Practice flirting! You may not be ready to find someone new but flirting with somebody completely new is great, it doesn't have to be romantically, use this time to practice your people skills, Say hello to someone that you find attractive, give a flirty smile and let your gaze linger a few seconds longer than you would normally.

A little bit of flirting is a great way to get into the groove and feel alive again.

by Tracey Todd

Women, Are You Making This Mistake in Your Relationship?

You are with that special someone and you think he maybe the one. He could be Mr. Right Now or hopefully Mr. Right for the Long-haul. It is great that you are in a relationship and finally you have a man. You are now breathing a sigh of relief that you no longer have to go to yet another wedding with your male cousin or when your mother asks when is she going to get some grandkids you can now tell her that you and your fiance are discussing it. You feel proud be a "we" and no longer in a table for one please position.

However, as happy as I am for you that you are now in a relationship chances are sooner or later you are going to commit one of the biggest mistakes most women make when they get involved in a relationship. And I say most women, because women are usually the ones lamenting over their husbands or boyfriends who seem to not have any interest in putting in time for the relationship. Although there are men who also fall into the same category as some women and as such this applies to them also. If you happen to be in a non-traditional relationship this applies to you too or your partner depending on who is committing the mistake.

What is this big mistake that a lot of you women are committing in your relationship? Well, most of you have your own identity in your life and you are happily single while looking for a relationship. However, it seems that you took out your identity on a loan while waiting for Mr. Right and as soon as you meet him and enter into a relationship you return your identity to the bank since it was a loan. In the relationship you focus so much on: What does he want? What is he feeling? Where is he going? Who is he with? What is he thinking? Does he want to be with me? Does he love me? Are we going to be together for the long haul? Hold on, finally a "we" question. For a second there it seemed as if there was no "we". Yes, I'm being facetious. Why, because there is still no "you" in any of those questions. It is a safe bet to say that he is asking himself the same questions you are asking with one difference. He is replacing the words "he" for "I". Yes, he is asking himself if he wants this, if he loves you enough to marry, to have children with. Therein lies the problem and the catalyst for women making the biggest mistake in their relationship.

Ladies, unless you are his attending physician, it is not your responsibility to think like him or to know what he wants for the relationship without him saying so. That's his job. Any mature and responsible adult man will know what he wants and does not need a woman to think for him. It is actually an insult for anyone to try and think for you when you are quite capable of thinking for yourself. When a woman begins to think like a man or for a man she is giving the man room to be selfish. If you are thinking like him and for him what does he have left to do? He will realize that you want the relationship so badly that you will try to work it out thus leaving him with nothing to do but just show up to please you and or for you to shut up.

In these types of unhealthy relationships there is always one person who is willing to do anything for the relationship. Women are the ones who are programmed to support their husbands and to stand by them. Women were taught from an early age beginning with the interactions they witnessed as children between their parents that they should suffer for their relationship and they should understand their man. However, men received an opposite programming that doesn't change until they realize that their behaviour and their thinking is immature and both need to change, received they will always be suffering for their relationship.

Therefore women will always be suffering for their relationship until they learn to develop their own identity and stop needing a man to define them. There are a large number of women who are complaining about the insensitivity, selfishness, self-centeredness and self-absorbed attitudes of their husbands or boyfriends. A woman is often left confused because her partner can be giving her signals that he wants a relationship with her, but when she responds favorably he backs away. This gives the woman two simultaneous reactions. She is excited that he is finally showing interest, but then at the same time he is backing off. So she sticks it out trying to be patient and understanding. Based on her programming she will conclude that maybe he's afraid to love but it also leaves her confused especially if she has been on this merry-go-round for sometime. Maybe you are that woman. However, while you are doing all the thinking for him and trying to understand him, who is thinking like you and for you? Obviously, it's not him since it's the reason why you are thinking like him and for him in the first place.

Most females if not all has a unique relationship with the word "selfish". I really do believe that after learning to say Mommy and Daddy "selfish" is the first word we learned the meaning of before learning how to say it. I'm sure men learned the word also, but they learned it when they looked in the dictionary or while coming up on the word in a book. Women on the other hand were surprised to find out that the word selfish was also in the dictionary. They thought it was a female thing. Women were taught that pretty, well-behaved girls should not be selfish. They must share their toys, dresses, food and whatever that belonged to them. Heaven forbid if they were to fuss. They were reprimanded and reminded that they must learn to share. Once sharing began there was calm and the little girls were left without their favorite toys. This is not to say that little boys were not taught how to share, but not necessarily to the extent that they should sacrifice their favorite G-I Joe's or Gameboys to their friends. The messages female received, combined with what they saw their mothers and other females doing, were brought over into adulthood. But instead of sacrificing her favorite toy, she is now sacrificing herself for her relationship.

Being in a relationship is not about changing who you are to match the other person, rather it is about two mature individuals coming together to share their lives with each other. You should still have your friends with whom you can go out with for a ladies night out without the men every once in awhile. You should also have your alone time to reflect and meditate. Your mate should also have his time with his friends and also his alone time. Of course there should be the utmost trust and respect between the two of you.

Never sacrifice who you are for your relationship. If you are giving more and more of yourself just to keep your relationship afloat then it's time to rethink your priorities. When the relationship ends you are now lost and struggling to find yourself. You forget the things you use to do because you gave them up for your relationship. Your friends have disappeared because your relationship took up all your time and they didn't have a man anyway so you couldn't relate to them anymore.

If you are not mature enough to work on yourself when you are single, meaning having a better relationship with yourself, with money and life, then you are not ready to be married or to be in any kind of relationship. If you think that when you get married you have to give up the things you did when you were single then you are not ready for marriage. Marriage is not the place to begin growing yourself. It is also not the place to figure out who you are. That should be done before getting married. A marriage is where two people continue growing while being together. Many people view getting married as a fun cool thing to do when they can be called Mr & Mrs. So&So.

By Trudy-Ann Ewan

Relationship: A Night of Passion

Intimacy and passion are significant in a relationship. A relationship is lifeless and boring if it lacks in passion and intimacy. Update your relationship with a night of passion. Get intimacy and passion in your relationship. A relationship tends to become boring if you start losing the intimacy and passion. You need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. Make your intimate time together special. Surprise your mate with a candle night dinner, soft music, a bottle of wine and a variety of passionate things for your lover to be together.

Do things together. Go to bed at night together. Happy partner never resist going to bed together. Walk hand in hand and feel the intimacy between the two of you. Hug each other when you meet after a break. Let that passion grow to strengthen the relationship. For a healthy relationship intimacy is very important. Physical intimacy helps you bring your soul together thus strengthens the relationship. It is a part of healing and rebuilding your relationship. Although it is difficult and awkward in the beginning yet it is crucial. Intimacy is very important in a relationship.

A relationship that is based on both emotional and physical intimacy is guaranteed to be successful and long lasting. A relationship does not last long if there is no emotional attachment between the partners. Emotions work like magnets that hold the partners together. How do you know that you are emotionally attached to your partner? Well! If you care for your lover, are worried about your partner and have respect then it is an indication of emotional attachment.

The couples, who are close to each other, feel for each other and at the same time show their love and care outwardly never face shortcomings in their relationship. It has been well said, “If you love somebody show it”. Love, if not expressed outwardly dies. Physical intimacy is equally important along with emotional intimacy to let your love grow. If you love your partner show it .While taking a walk just hold the hand of your lover or stop to give a gentle kiss. When you return from work give a warm hug to your mate.

Intimacy is all about caring, loving, honesty, openness with each other and respect for each other. You should respect each other and be open with each other. It is then that you will feel a close bond between the two of you. A relationship with this kind of intimacy is strong and stable.

A passionate lover is the one all are looking for. If you are a passionate lover there is always a kind of energy and excitement in your relationship. This passion never lets your love fade. There is a kind of zeal in the relationship that keeps up the excitement between the partners.

By Julia Jones

Four Dangerous Mistakes That Women Make When Saving a Relationship, and How to Avoid Them!

You know, a relationship crisis is an incredibly painful and emotional experience, and it is no surprise that most women who are caught in this emotional upheaval do more to harm their relationship than help it! When a person is faced with this unfortuitous turn of events, heartbreak, frustration, and fear drive their actions, and they inadvertently destroy their relationship. The best thing you can do in a situation like this is take a step back, take a deep breath, and clear your mind! This will prevent you from harming the chance of saving your relationship!

Let' examine the four things you shouldn't do, then I'll tell exactly what you should do!

1. Telling him that you'll change to save your relationship

Reassuring him that you won't; complain anymore, be controlling, won't lie, be jealous, or have another affair never works. You see, all of the talking is over at this point in the crisis, and actions will have to speak louder than words. What you're really saying when you tell him you've changed is; give me my way because I don't really care what you want. This will only cause him to pull away from you and will hurt your chances of saving the relationship. You see when it comes to saving a relationship actions really do speak louder than words! If your relationship has reached a point of crisis, there isn't anything that you can say that will turn it around. So, you may as well save your breath!

You see, your partner has been asking you for a change and you haven't given him one! The only way to turn your relationship around is by proving that you changed, and not by saying you have. Forget about who's right or wrong. I'm sure your partner did several things to harm the relationship, but if you want to focus on blaming him, you will destroy your relationship. There's an old saying; "Being happy doesn't always go along with being right!" So, do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right? If you want to be happy focus on proving that you have changed and watch your partner change him self!

2. Saying that you love him to save your relationship

Telling your partner over and over again that you love him is like saying that you want something different than what he wants. He wants to pull away and you want him to come closer. There's a reason that he is pulling away, and what you're doing in essence is ignoring his needs. Saving a relationship is not about forcing the issue, it's about attraction! Love is really a matter of attraction since you can't force someone to love you, can you! You partner pulled away from you because you haven't been fulfilling his emotional needs, and your fears and insecurities have been causing you to damage the relationship. So, telling him that you love him will only push him further away. If you want to save your relationship refrain from saying I love you at this point. Instead tell him that you agree and understand why the relationship isn't working! That's right, agree! I'll show you exactly how to do this towards the bottom of this article!

3. Trying to change him to save a relationship

Plodding, pleading, and arguing with him in an attempt to get him to change never works. In fact, it is actually counterproductive to saving a relationship and is the quickest way to destroy it. Let's get one thing perfectly straight; YOU CAN"T CHANGE HIM!! No matter how hard you try, you can't change him, and attempting to do so will destroy your relationship. Only he can change himself! Now that you realize this critical case in point, your chances of saving your relationship just went from slim to probable!

4. Acting out of desperation to save a relationship

Desperation is not attractive to anyone, and when you say I love you please don't leave me, what your really saying is that I have very little self-confidence. Your sending a message that you know the world is full of good looking men, but you can't see that and you have very low self-esteem. Saving a relationship is all about showing your partner the confident woman he's always wanted. Your partner wants a woman that makes him feel like a man. He wants a woman that displays confidence or feminine grace. When faced with infidelity in a relationship most women think their man just gave in to a moment of sexual desire, or that it's just the way some men are. However that's not it at all! Other than sexual addiction being involved, 99% of the time it is because his emotional needs have gone unmet. Is committing infidelity wrong? Of course it is, but if you want to save your relationship being desperate or unconfident will not help. As a matter of fact, it will destroy it.

Ok, that's what you shouldn't do, and now here's what you should do!

1. Step back, take a deep breath and clear your mind!
2. Draft a statement of agreement and present it to your partner! (see example below)
3. Focus on renewing yourself and proving that you have changed!

The following statement of agreement is based on a relationship where the partner blames and resents his wife for being verbally abusive and controlling, which has caused the crisis to escalate to the point of separation.

Her Statement of Agreement

I have been thinking about some things and I want you to know that I agree with you and I understand. I know that there have been times when I have been verbally abusive and have said things to you that I shouldn't have. I also know that because of my own fears I have been very controlling in our relationship. Never wanting you to have any friends, and always being suspicious of where you are and what you're doing, even though you've never given me a reason to feel that way. I know that you have asked me for a change and I haven't given you one, so I honestly don't blame you for feeling the way that you do. And, I don't blame you for wanting the separation! I just wanted to tell you that I understand.

Give these techniques a try; you may be shocked at your partner's reaction!

By David Roppo

The Heart Moves On - Using Ceremony to Mark the End of a Relationship

Divorce or the end of a long-term relationship is a particularly difficult experience because it makes you deal with two different sets of issues.

• Issues of endings, separation, and letting go (disappointment, anger, sadness, fear and trying to achieve closure)
• Issues of acceptance, forgiveness, becoming open to new beginnings and new possibilities.

A Divorce/End of Relationship Ceremony can give a boost to that process. The difference between a divorce ceremony and an end-of-relationship ceremonies is largely timing. In Australia, which has no-fault divorce dependent only on a period of separation, the relationship has formally ended quite some time before the divorce becomes final. Either ceremony is an appropriate way to mark the end of your relationship with ritual and ceremony.

Whichever you choose, if the ceremony is properly performed, it will have a deep spiritual content which will increase your sense of belonging. In the context of human behaviour it is the emotions that matter. The process of preparing for the ceremony, and the ceremony itself, supports positive emotions at a time of transition from one state of being to another by having a positive impact on the subconscious. A positive ceremony alleviates anxiety about the capacity to live separate lives, and steers the emotions away from self-recrimination to celebration of growth and learning.

Some couples choose to have a divorce ceremony once the relationship has legally ended with the granting of a divorce. But I find that, given the opportunity, couples may choose to acknowledge the end of the relationship sometime during the initial period of separation, way before the formal proceedings have started. This can be very helpful where there are children of the relationship because in a formal way the parents' continued commitment to those children is made clear, and the children are formally absolved of blame for the breakdown in the marriage. (Many children do blame themselves and this needs to be addressed).

There are two types of Divorce/End of Relationship Ceremony. Where the former partners can be respectful of each other and can put their differences aside to focus on the needs of their children, the ceremony may be seen as a positive step towards separation. Vows may be retracted and formal statement of support for each other and for the children are made. This is particularly helpful as children often believe that they are the cause of the break-up, and a formal, public ceremony in which the former partners stress that their split does not mean a change in their relationship with the children can be very helpful.

The second type of ceremony, where only one partner is involved, is more akin to a funeral. The good parts of the relationship are eulogised and steps are taken to help the 'surviving party' to move on.

Ultimately however, your ceremony outcomes depend on the skill of your celebrant.

If you are planning a ceremony to mark the end of a relationship, I urge you to focus on two things:

• healing the wounds of the breakdown of the relationship, and
• moving on.

I have been horrified to see examples of "post-divorce" ceremonies which were virtually undistinguishable from black magic, including sticking pins in an effigy of a spouse, or burying a coffin contain a photo of the ex-spouse.

I frankly refuse to conduct ceremonies where the potential client wants every person present to make a negative statement about the ex-spouse. Some celebrants are not quite so fussy, going along with this, though some may refuse to allow children of the marriage to make a negative statement against their mother or father. Nonetheless, the child is there and hears the statements, which will cause distress and is potentially harmful.

When you approach a celebrant to conduct an end-of-relationship or divorce ceremony, be aware that the role of the celebrant is not to be a substitute counsellor, but to be a facilitor, using his or her skills in working with people at a time of heightened emotions.

The process of developing your ceremony should result in a ceremony that enables you to:

• say goodbye to the past relationship
• acknowledge and celebrate what was good in that relationship and the growth each party underwent during and as a result of the relationship
• affirm your values
• express appreciation
• move through the transitional phrase between being half of a couple and being a single person

By Jennifer Cram

Relationship Tune Up - 7 Key Points to Avoid a Break Up or Break Down

"Every three months or 3,000 miles."

That's how the sticker in the left upper corner
of my windshield reads.

It's a matter of common knowledge that we are supposed to maintain, service, and tune up our cars if we want them to run well and last.

In my experience, it rarely occurs to us to do the same thing with our love relationships.

More and more of the couples I see are not in need of long term therapy, they are more in need of a short term relationship tune up.

7 Key Points

What first attracted you to each other? - This is the first question I ask most couples because it helps to be reminded that your partner has some great qualities that led you to want to be in this relationship.

What are some of the strengths of your relationship? - Instead of all the things that are wrong with your relationship, what I want to know is what are some of the strengths of the relationship upon which we can build in order to solve the problems with which they are struggling.

When have you been the closest? - One of the easiest ways to tune up your relationship is to do the things you were doing when you were the closest.

You may have noticed that the first 3 questions were all focused on positives in the relationship.

This is done on purpose. One of the dangers of traditional marriage counseling is a focus on what is wrong or defective with an individual or the relationship. One of the many benefits of relationship coaching is a focus on using the strengths in the relationship to build up the areas where the relationship is weak.

What are your partner's emotional needs and what are your own? - If you do not know, hear are the two crucial questions to ask:

1) In order to feel loved by me, what do you need to feel in our relationship?

2) What are some ways I can meet those needs?

What is your partner's love language and what is yours? - Some folks need to hear it, some folks need to see it, and some folks need to feel it.

How do the two of you "do conflict?" - Conflict in a relationship is inevitable. Fighting is optional.

What is your vision for your relationship? - Without a vision, a relationship can perish. Here are a few questions most couples never take the time to even think about, much less ask:

1) If we could design our relationship any way we wanted, how would we like it to be?

2) What goals do we have for our relationship?

By Jeff Herring

Stop Being the String Along: A Relationship Guide to Being THE ONE

Ultimately, you want a partner you can be your true self with, a partner who will treat you with love and respect.

The subconscious social conditioning we receive to get or capture another causes us to fail and to string ourselves along, while we simultaneously hide our real selves. This robs both people equally of the opportunity to get to know, love, and care for each other, while maintaining a solid sense of self.

* Being Equals

It does not matter if you are male or female, nor does it matter what your sexual preferences are. The only thing that matters is that you view yourself and the other person as fully equal human beings.

This means that your preferences and standards are equally as important as the other person’s. As a result, they are equally respected.
This means that compromising your integrity or the other person’s integrity is not an option.

Games and manipulation are not an option. Do you like it when someone plays games and tries to manipulate you? Of course not. Therefore, trying to manipulate the other person must never even be considered.

Equals do not engage in a power play. There must be mutual respect. You must care enough about the other person’s feelings to dare to be honest; and you must be honest even if you feel scared or fear that stating your truth might be hurtful to the other, as long as your motive is pure and comes from your heart.

It is the heart center within each person that ties us all together. Both men and women have feelings, and those feelings deserve to be honored at the expense of no one.

Being Who You Are and True to Yourself

In a relationship, being The One means being who you are, and sharing yourself honestly and genuinely with the other person.

This honesty requires the courage to speak your truth, even if you fear rejection. It means that you stop holding back out of fear and start expressing your feelings kindly and graciously. What matters most is that you express your truth. Holding back your truth out of fear robs you of the ability to share your true self with the other, and it robs the other person of the opportunity to really know who you are, how you feel, what you think, and what you want.

Stifling your truth causes the relationship to break down. It causes the relationship to stagnate or slowly deteriorate. At all stages of a relationship, from the first meeting through decades of being together, sharing your truth will never hurt you. Withholding your truth, however, will always hurt both you and the relationship.

When you share your interests, talents, essence, and life purpose with the other person, he receives the gift of getting to know the incredible being that you are. You must find the courage to show your authentic self; you must risk daring to be the real you.

If you fear loss, ultimately you lose your sense of self. Once you lose your self-worth, you begin to slowly deteriorate. Then, sadly, the relationship naturally follows that same downward spiral. On the flip side, taking a risk to share your genuine feelings, thoughts, and preferences will bring authentic truth into the relationship, and you can both thrive. But if you are not suited for each other, then it is better to part rather than string yourself or the other person along out of any sort of fear.

Don’t you want to know the truth about what the other person feels and thinks? Well, the other person deserves to know the same about you.
If you receive a phone call, do not act indifferent, as if you just received a call from a telemarketer. If you are happy to hear from him or her, simply say, “I’m happy to hear from you” or “It’s good to hear from you.” Say the truth. People want to be liked and appreciated; they don’t want to be treated like yesterday’s newspaper.

If the other person says or does something that you really do not like, say, “When you said that, I felt hurt” or “When you did that, I felt rejected, and it would be so great if you would have done this instead.”

If you let the person know, in the moment, when he does or says something that upsets you, you will simply communicate your truth graciously and, at the same time, let him know what you would prefer instead. You don’t need to create a dramatic scene. Simply and calmly state your truth, and show your respect for the other person by letting him know what you would prefer, rather than expecting him to read your mind.

Only you can read your mind. You must communicate clearly so that you can have clarity rather than ambiguity within the relationship. If you’re walking on eggshells, promptly stand in your truth and muster up the courage to be real enough to state what is on your mind. This will open the door to clear communication. If the person genuinely wants to be with you, your authenticity will only help by giving him the opportunity to open up and be authentic with you in return.

If your truth leads to a breakup, wouldn’t you rather have someone in your life who really wants to be with you? Do you really prefer to walk on eggshells, putting up with words and behaviors that are far less than what you deserve?

This is your choice. You can choose to string yourself or the other along, but in the end, this choice only diminishes your self-esteem.

The greatest way to enhance your self-esteem is to be true to yourself on all levels of your life. This will naturally be reflected in how truthful you are with the other person. Whether you stay together or not, at least your relationship will be authentic. It’s always much better to go with the truth in your heart and soul. You can never go wrong with the truth.

* Taking the Games Out of Relationships

People don’t want to be with others who are pining away for them, willing to sacrifice their truth, integrity, and self-esteem just to go along out of fear of rocking the boat or losing the relationship. Nobody truly wants a doormat.

Neither the person who gets stomped on nor the person who does the stomping enjoys a fulfilling, rewarding relationship that contributes great joy to life.

Nobody wins in a string along relationship. Everybody wins when you are both equally The One.

To attract, thrive, and share a life with The One, to grow together, you have to be The One at all times, with zero games.

Being The One means you do not settle. You refuse to settle because you know your worth. You refuse to manipulate just to get what you want by deception of any kind; you have too much integrity to lower yourself by playing manipulation games. You have too much self-love to sacrifice your truth. You have too much self-honesty to keep quiet out of fear. You care too much for the other as an equal member of the human race to even consider asking him to sacrifice his truth just to please you.

If there are difficulties in the relationship, you must sit down together and share from your hearts everything that is upsetting to you, with each person receiving equal time on center stage to share his feelings, and with a shared desire to come to a mutually agreeable solution.

If you have tried many times to work it out, and you genuinely feel that there is no relationship left that resembles the kind you really desire and deserve, then peacefully walk out of the relationship. Then you can both attract new partners who you can have a mutually satisfying relationship with.

The One doesn’t even consider manipulative games or sacrificing self-truth to appease the other, and doesn’t keep the status quo out of a martyred sense of self-denial.

View yourself and the other person purely as equal members of the human race. Have a life or create a life that you are passionate about so that you can share who you really are with the other.

Show your real feelings. State your real feelings. If you’re not sure of your real feelings, simply say so. If you feel scared, it’s okay to say that. This openness creates a platform for authentic intimacy, in which it is safe to share your truth. The other person might very well react with relief because you have the courage to be real instead of hiding behind a façade, pretending to be what you think you’re supposed to be in order to gain approval.

The only approval and validation you ever need can come only from within you. Far too many people tiptoe around learned cultural rules and regulations to “capture” the other person. How about being the real you so that the other person has an opportunity to get to know who you are and what you’re all about.

You don’t have to go overboard to prove how lovable and incredible you are. The key to taking the games out of relationships is to stop playing head games with yourself, trying to figure out how you can “get” or “keep” the other person. The key is in getting and keeping your own life, and seeing the other person as a part of your life rather than your central focus. Don’t just pretend to be busy—be passionately absorbed in your life! Don’t just say you’re not available; be available when you can be, but honor the other priorities in your life. Waiting by the phone is not a priority.

If you focus on the other person as the be-all and end-all of your life purpose, then do yourself a big favor: take that focus and place it on becoming your best self and on contributing your best to this world. Then, when you are genuinely available to see the other person, see him and have a blast. If you feel like sending flowers, send them. If you’re in a relationship and you both want it to thrive, it’s okay for a woman to do something kind for a guy, and vice versa, as long as kindness is reciprocated. The relationship must be equal on all levels. If it’s not, why are you still in it? If you’re being taken for granted, leave. If you’re being treated the way you have always wanted to be treated, then treat the other person the same way. Take the male-female games out of the equation. Games may work for a short time, but they never make for a healthy, authentic relationship. In the end, games don’t work.

If you think you have to put on an act or cover up your true self, then it’s time to ask yourself what you are so afraid of. Usually the answer is that you’re afraid the real you is not lovable. To counter that, be who you really are.

If you make truth the rule of thumb on all levels, you cannot go wrong. If you need more solitude, simply say so. If you would like to see the other person more, it’s okay to say, “I have such an awesome time with you. It would be great if I could see you more.” Then, trust your instincts about the response you get. If the other person is swamped, then understand. If you’re picking up signals that you sense are nonsense, then honor what your smart intuition is telling you, and get busy with your own life, with zero complaints. Someone can be busy but still call. Someone can be out of town and still send flowers. Someone who really cares shows it. Moreover, when you really care about you, you can show it to yourself by the excitement you put into your own life, and by sharing your activities with the other person when you do get together.

Stop worrying so much if you are “getting it right.” Be your shining self.

Stop worrying if you are going to “mess everything up.” Be honest.

Stop worrying about who should be chasing whom. Share your authentic self.

Stop settling for less than you deserve. State what you prefer.

Stop compromising your integrity. Deal truthfully with the other person on all levels.

Stop wasting your time trying to capture the other person. Let your life purpose capture you.

By Barbara Rose, Ph.D.

Taking the True Relationship Test

If you have ever read teen magazines you will be familiar with the myriad tests they offer their readers. You can find out everything from which type of jelly bean you are to which celebrity is your soul mate. But what about the relationship test that purports to tell you whether you and your spouse or companion are compatible? After twenty multiple choice questions the test tells you to either keep them around or dump them.

The fact of the matter is that no relationship test can truly analyze all of the factors that indicate whether a relationship will or won't work. Personality specialists emphasize that each personality type has different strengths and weaknesses and that any two types of personalities can be happily married their whole lives, so long as they are aware of their differences and work hard to make their marriage a success.

The True Relationship Test

My mother had a rule that we couldn't complain about something she cooked until after we had tried it. The principle she was trying to teach was - the best way to figure out if you like something is to try it.

The best relationship test to take is life - try it out for while. Who cares if a magazine quiz says the planets aren't aligned for you and your mate. If you are dating and you're happier than ever, keep it up. And even if a magazine tells you that you have found your soul mate, but you are unhappy or the relationship is abusive, get out of it.

Passing the Test

For anybody that has been in a relationship longer than a couple of weeks, you know that life isn't always peaches and cream. Tough times come, habits starts to annoy, and personalities clash. Don't throw away a great relationship just because your knight in shining armor happens to snore. Follow these tips to strengthen a great relationship or work on strengthening a struggling one.

• Communicate, communicate, communicate. While many people don't have a problem expressing accurately their feelings or emotions, some people do. That is not an excuse, however, to not share with your partner what you're thinking or feeling. If you fail to communicate your relationship will suffer.
• Spend time together. Don't justify spending only 15 minutes a day with your spouse by calling it quality time. Quality is important, but quantity time is especially crucial with regards to relationships. Make sacrifices and spend time together.
• Be 100% loyal. Your commitment to the success of your relationship cannot be complete if you are flirting or otherwise involved with another person besides your spouse. If you have a problem with this, now is the time make changes in your life. If you suspect that a child may be yours, DNA relationship tests are available to help determine your relationship to a child. Take responsibility for your actions.

No matter what any magazine tells you, if you want to make your relationship work, it will take time, effort, and loyalty. Put your relationship to the real test by trying for success. By Nick Smith

CRM Business Relationship

A business relationship is different from any other kind of relationship, being a personal or a social relationship. However, to understand what a business relationship means, it is necessary to identify what a relationship is.

A relationship is according to the Oxford Advanced Learner’s Dictionary “a connection between things”. A different definition is that it “is a memory of past interactions”. Both definitions say something about a relationship even though that they do not say exactly the same. However, the definitions do not differ between business relationships and personal relationships, which is important because there is a different objective between the two kinds of relationships. Therefore, a business relationship can be defined as:

“A bond based on a rational objective, which is to do business with each other”.

However, as the interaction between the two actors increases, a certain relationship evolves and the knowledge about the other part is increased. Together they create a combined understanding and view of reality. The more common output of the relationship is a decrease in transaction costs, as transactions becomes routinely and the bond between the two companies is strengthening.

By Rasmus Nielsen

Are You Really Ready For a Relationship?

So often I hear, I want a boyfriend, I’m married but I’m not happy. I just got divorced and I don’t want to make the same mistake again. When will I find someone? It occurred to me recently that in order to be in a relationship that works, it’s necessary to be ready to enter one. I know that sounds really simple, but if we look at our national divorce rate, you can see that it is not simple. In fact, I seriously doubt that many people consider their readiness for marriage or relationship of any sort. I think the average scenario goes something like this. He is attracted to how she looks. She is attracted to his energy and productivity. They start dating and eventually she thinks it might be a good idea to get married. He goes along because he is sure it’s going to get him regular sex and then all their friends and relatives get excited about their wedding. They have a big celebration and then they start to realize there is more to marriage than living together. Please forgive me for the offensive simplification of this scenario. It is merely an illustration.

My awareness heightened when I began working with clients who were in a state of chaos. They were in various stages of post relationship survival. Their finances were in a shambles. Some were broken hearted, with no self-esteem, out of work, wondering what to do about their rent and utilities payments and seeking coaching about their relationships. Many, I think, were planning on having a new relationship rescue him/her from impending disaster. I started to think about parameters for readiness in relationship. What specific standards and status should be the baseline? What exactly constitutes readiness? What is definite is that nothing is definite. So where do we start?

First is desire. The desire to be part of something is manifested in relationship. You can’t be “in” relationship unless you want to be. Partnership demands a serious time commitment, one on one conversations, planning, dating, socializing, compromising, making love, having sex, playing, working, sleeping, having children and raising them, shopping, cleaning house. Granted, some of these things you would do even if you were not in relationship. However, once you are seriously committed, as in living together, every one of the above -mentioned tasks involves agreement and participation by both partners.

Even prior to living together, finding someone you are willing to try being in relationship with is practically a full time job. So many of the people that I talk with in my work, tell me, I just don’t have the energy to go through the process of dating and getting to know someone well enough to feel comfortable being authentic and intimate. Don’t you agree that many people settle for what they have, even if unsatisfying, because it’s just too much work to change it?

Those that I have coached all the way to marriage and beyond have been serious about getting married. They wanted it, they were willing to do whatever it takes to find and enroll the right partner. They also do whatever it takes to maintain the level of passion and intimacy, production and appetite that are necessary to sustain a healthy, vibrant, satisfying relationship. In other words, they do not assume that once you are in a “marriage” or “committed relationship” that IT will take care of itself.

One seemingly unrelated concept that has forever been an annoyance has to do with loan applications. Bear with me on this. Whenever you submit a loan or credit application, the first response of the lender is to check your credit and your financial picture. If it appears that you need money for any reason, the likelihood of approval for financing is almost nil. However, if you appear financially stable with plenty of unused credit and a steady job and money in savings, every financial institution is clamoring to lend you money. So how does this relate?

It is my opinion, that love and relationship operate in the same way. Let’s say you go to the love bank and ask for a boyfriend/girlfriend, a serious one perhaps leading to marriage. The love bank manager takes a look at you and says. You work too much, you spend all of your money, your credit cards are maxed-out, you have diminished self esteem and a broken heart from the last one, you’re physically and emotionally bankrupt, and you don’t trust anyone. REJECTED!!! Now, you are really in need of someone to save you so you continue looking at all of the B and C rated love lenders, bars, pick up joints, work, internet dating services, personal ads until you find someone who is as needy as you are. You need someone to rebuild your self-esteem and reassure you that you are indeed lovable.

WRONG!!!!!

Although I have never been fond of credit reporting agencies and the use of their information by lending institutions, there is some validity in their strategy that is applicable to relationship coaching. In order to be ready for a serious relationship, one must achieve the following:

1. Desire to be in relationship

2. Self – esteem. Know that you are attractive and have something to offer another person.

3. Financial stability. At least enough income to take care of your housing and basic needs and minimal credit card debt.

4. Work. A job that satisfies some of your achievement needs.

5. Vulnerability. Enough healing that you are able to share your authentic self with this person.

6. Love. An abundance for yourself with enough left over to share with another person.

By Susan Sheppard