First Impressions - Why They Are Sometimes Wrong

First impressions - it's so easy to get them wrong.

When we meet somebody new, we size that person up in just a few seconds.

A few seconds, that's all it takes to decide whether or not we like somebody, whether we trust them, whether or not we want to get to know them better. We make snap judgments about others all the time based on our first impressions of them. And other people are constantly making snap judgments about us too.

Once we make these snap judgments about other people, we rarely change our minds later.

We rarely change our minds after a first impression because humans are hard-wired to make snap judgments.

Why is this? It could be because our ancestors rarely had the luxury of taking weeks and weeks to decide which situations were dangerous for them and which situations were safe. If our ancestors came across a group of people while they were out hunting, they would have to decide within seconds whether these new people were friends or enemies.

If they judged wrong, they might not survive the encounter. We seem to have inherited this kind of brain, with its need to make snap judgments on others, based on first impressions. Our brains seem to have a built-in mechanism for deciding rather quickly which people we should trust, and which people we should avoid.

If a person seems a bit different to us, we may become suspicious or even hostile. If he doesn't look us in the eye, or if he says something the slightest bit odd, we may instantly and forever decide that this is a person we want nothing to do with.

So, are we always right in our first impressions of other people? Not necessarily. Sometimes we do change our minds about others, but it's rare. For us to change our minds about people after we have met them, we have to believe that they have somehow changed. We rarely think to ourselves that our initial impression of somebody was wrong.

Sometimes we get an odd feeling about somebody and it turns out that we are right, that person really is a crook or a serial killer.

Sometimes we get an odd feeling about somebody, and we are wrong. That person is simply a bit different, that's all. In fact, we might really find that person can become a treasured friend if we get to know them better.

Our tendency to make snap judgments about others is sometimes right and sometimes wrong.

Ask yourself if you are usually open to the people you meet, unless they prove that they are somehow untrustworthy?

Or, are you usually hostile and suspicious of others until you get to know them better?

If you have a tendency to be suspicious of those you meet until you know them better, you may be too judgmental. By being too judgmental, you may be cutting off the possibilities of good friendships and relationships.

On the other hand, if you are too trusting, you may end up getting exploited by people who will manipulate you for their own gain.

By Royane Rea

High School Relationship Advice - Relationship Advice From a Dating Diva

Are you in high school and in need of some high school relationship advice? When I was in there myself, I felt like life would never be more complicated than it was at that time. Classes, friends, family - nothing seemed to be simple. Doesn't every secondary school kid feel that way? Add into the mix a complicated relationship drama, and things can seem to be spinning even more out of control! One of the worst things about high school relationship complications, when compared to later in life, is that the participants in them have little to no control over their major life choices. Moving away, whether they can see this person, whether they have the same circle of friends as the one they love - all of these decisions are controlled by the adults in their lives.

However, even though when you're a kid you don't have control of the major changes, you do have control of the small ones. Here are three rules of thumb to keep your High School relationship on track and humming.

Rule One - Communicate with your partner in an open and honest way. Without open and honest communication, the relationship is doomed to failure no matter what else you try.

Rule Two - Have expectations that are realistic. Soap operas are fiction, no woman or man is going to be perfect and romantic all the time in a real relationship - especially when they are just starting out in the relationship game and learning all the rules about dealing with the opposite sex. Be patient, and realize that in real life, the world is populated by real people - meaning, flawed people.

Rule Three - Don't hang on too long. Know when it's time to leave the relationship. A relationship, especially a teenage relationship, should not be more drama than it is fun. It's not like you guys have three kids and mortgage. You can leave the relationship fairly cleanly. If it seems like you're yelling or crying more than you're laughing - get out of it!

Remember. Like all things in high school, relationships are primarily learning experiences. By Melanie Young

Relationship Problems: Solvable or Unsolvable

Every so often, I will hear a relationship speaker claim that they have never had a fight or problem in their marriage. My response to such a claim is that the person is either

1) lying or

2) certainly can't relate to me.

All love relationships have their share of problems, or to use the popular phrase, all relationships have issues.

In general, relationship issues can be divided into two categories:

solvable and unsolvable.

Solvable relationship problems

Solvable relationship problems are generally related to the needs you have in a relationship. An unmet need leads to a problem or issue. Some relationship needs are emotional needs and some are called functional needs. An emotional need is what you need to feel in order to feel loved in a relationship. A functional need is what you need for your life to work in a way that fits for you while in a relationship.

The good news is that needs are negotiable, and there are lots of ways to meet a need. The way to tell if something is a need for you or not, is that if it were not met, you would experience an issue every time. So meeting needs are very important, and are the difference between being happy or unhappy in a relationship.

Unsolvable relationship problems

Unsolvable relationship problems are generally related to what are called your requirements. Whether you are aware of it or not, whether you know them or not, you do have non-negotiable requirements. These requirements have to be met in order for a relationship to work for you. If even one of these requirements is missing the relationship will not work for you.

Requirements are relationship breakers. The problem is that we often treat our requirements as factors that are negotiable. They are not. Or we go into a relationship where we know an important factor does not exist, yet believe, hope or rationalize (rational lies) that somehow this will change once we get married.

By Jeff Herring

7 Simple Key Principles of Relationship Marketing to Attract Lifetime Customers!

Most of business owners fail to effectively attract and retain lifetime customers. What they fail to realize is the key principles of relationship marketing, that converts potential customers into repeat clients.

To succeed in your business, your main goal should be to build a responsive email list of lifetime customers from your targeted market who trust you, feel grateful to you and value your recommendation.

A good relationship with loyal customers is worth a fortune. That's the most valuable thing any business can have. The key here is to build your large list of lifetime customers who trust you. Achieve this and you're set for life.

For that reason you need to learn the key principles of relationship marketing to be able to apply relationship marketing concepts to your web site.

What's Relationship Marketing?

Relationship marketing is the method of gradually turning website visitors into subscribers and leads them from position to position along a planned program to convert them into life time customers.

Think of relationship building as the foundation to your business. It establishes you as a professional, trust worthy and a consistent source.

7 Key Principles of Relationship Marketing.

Building relationship online is more difficult when compared to offline relationship building. The techniques used are almost the same. But, turning a potential customer into lifetime customer offline is easier due to the nature of the process. In online marketing you can't meet your clients in person like in offline marketing. But, you can deliver what you want if you think of your potential clients in each step you make when building your business. Relationship marketing is a process, not just a one-time commitment. It starts the moment you think about building a business and continue as long as you stay in.

1 - Know your potential customers.

Before you start building your business; you need to determine your targeted market and know your potential customers. Learn how to know your customers to develop effective tactics for delivering your message to them.

You can start getting to know your customers by taking some very simple steps.

- Determine in advance where your potential customers congregate. - What newsletter they read? - What forums they visit and post to? - What else might do while surfing the net?

The best places where you find your prospects are forums, discussion groups and discussion boards. Visit forums of your targeted market and figure out:

- What's your potential customers' problem? What they are looking for? - What kind of business they are involved in? - How they want their problem to be solved? - What words they use?

Only by knowing your customers' wants and needs you can successfully grow your business and be totally customer-oriented. In order to tailor your marketing and advertising strategies to appeal to the tastes and interests of your market, you must first identify your customer.

Relationship is not only based on knowing who your visitors are, but on knowing your customers' and prospects' specific needs.

Note: To attract more subscribers and build a strong relationship marketing the easy way use your prospects words. If you feel their pain and use their words when posting to forums, sending message, etc... they'll be related to you. You will be one of them; you are not a stranger then they will be likely to trust you and consider your recommendation.

2 - Show your expertise.

The majority of business people, never completely and clearly display their knowledge to potential customers. Show to your targeted market you are the leader in your industry and they will follow you.

People like to learn about your experience. They like to follow the expert's steps to avoid mistakes and reach success the easy way with less investment in time and money.

3 - Start a dialog to establish trust.

Set up a continuing dialog to establish trust. Trust is a vital step to building long-time relationship. This dialog should starts as soon as your visitors submit information along with their email addresses. This explains their interest in your business. In return, you give them what promised when they subscribed and keep contacts at periodic intervals by sending quality information to your subscribers.

Your goal is to create long term relationships marketing with your subscribers. To do that you must invest time to gather available sources and high quality information and put it at your prospects' disposal to help them succeed. Remember, maintaining customer enthusiasm and creating customer loyalty is your key to success.

4 - Follow up

Dialog leads to follow-up. Hook your subscribers with your follow up messages series. Set up a series of follow up messages to send quality information to every new subscriber. Professionalism is the key to successful relationship.

The main purpose of follow up is to remain visible to your subscribers so, when the need arise and your prospect wants to make a purchase, your product will be the first one the subscriber thinks of.

If you want to make good money your mission will not cease at selling your product. Going after one sale is worthless. Following up with your customer after the sale is made is a great tactic. This important step will help you strength your relationship, decrease the refund proclamations and keep your customer baying from you again and a gain.

Keep following up; don't stop and be creative. Don't send your customers only sales messages. From time to time send free useful product they don't find elsewhere that can help them make money and/or save time. Send special offers with discount for loyal customers only. Keep them up to date and to the point with latest news, etc...

5 - Offer good customer service.

Some people will start an online business and only focus on what services or products they can sell to make good money. They are not worried about establishing good relationship with their customers and potential clients.

- Answer your prospects' requests as soon as you receive them.

- Replay to every email within 24 hours with the needed response whether it is a question, concern or simply someone looking for more information.

- Treat your customers right. Even if you offer the best products or services, most customers will evaluate your business by how they were treated while doing business with you. For that reason, it's important to take care of your customers and give them the best product or service they want.

By providing great customer service to the people you do business with, you will get customers coming back to you again and again to buy your products or services.

Note: If you want to stay in your customers' minds serve them better. You can do this by collecting information from your customers' feedback. Having a contacts page on your website with a comments or feedback form will keep you informed about your customers' wants and problems. If you publish a newsletter, you can also accomplish this by asking for feedback from your subscribers.

This is a great way of making your audience know you care about what they have to say and how important they are to you. When you show interest in your customers you will build credibility and loyalty.

6 - Educate your subscribers.

Put at your customers disposal manuals, frequently asked question (FAQ) web page, articles, etc... to help them learn how to use your product or service perfectly. Educate your subscribers to help them build interest and loyalty for your business.

Lifetime clients want you to be their trusted advisor. The more you educate your customers by offering them a variety of options, the greater your chance to earn their lifetime business. Education strengthens relationship marketing with clients.

7 - Sell or recommend only quality products.

Sell quality products that have value, plus offer a guarantee and stand behind it. One of the quickest ways to destroy a business relationship is selling poor quality products and not standing behind what you promise.

If you want to promote other marketers' affiliate programs from your website, take the time to investigate the companies you advocate. Promote only products from legitimate companies with solid Internet presence. Remember the companies you suggest will have an impact on your business reputation.

Relationship marketing is the corner stone of every business. If you follow these key principles of relationship marketing, you'll be on your way to building a responsive opt in email list which will lead to more and better sales. By Gley Yahya

Are You In The Process Of Ending a Relationship?

Are You In The Process Of Ending a Relationship?

It's a fact that ending a relationship is not something that we want to do, but we have to understand that when a relationship has gone bad, someone has to make the reasonable decision to terminate it.

Sometimes we need some good relationship break up advice to get through this and this is what I want to share with you now. The reality is that a lot of relationships carry on longer than they ought to because both partners are hoping that things will get better.

Every now and then a break up takes place in dramatic manner with clothes and other personal items get thrown out the window or in the garbage.Most times, the relationship just keeps sinking until someone says it's over.

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt?

You need to understand why you want to end the relationship. The first reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you realize the real reason, the next step in ending a relationship is to be direct. That means that in your conversation with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them. It's better to do it in person rather than over the phone.

Thats one of the most important relationship advice I can give you. Don't put your partner on the defensive. Discuss the things you�ve learned and the memories you'll cherish. Be there during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional and you will need to respond to their needs.

Don't take anything that your partner may say personally, they may say things they don't really mean. They may have to meet with you several times to end the relationship.

But you have to be strong and don't let them make you feel guilty. You're ready to launch a new stage in your life and it won't be with your ex. It is a good idea if you preserve a positive connection of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship with good intent, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever think of reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean it's over for good?

It's a choice you have to make. Nearly all relationships can be kept alive if certain situations are met. If you are commited to find the time and are willing to generate the effort, you can move through this time as an even stronger couple.

by Bob Fernicola

Are You In The Process Of Ending a Relationship?

Are You In The Process Of Ending a Relationship?

It's a fact that ending a relationship is not something that we want to do, but we have to understand that when a relationship has gone bad, someone has to make the reasonable decision to terminate it.

Sometimes we need some good relationship break up advice to get through this and this is what I want to share with you now. The reality is that a lot of relationships carry on longer than they ought to because both partners are hoping that things will get better.

Every now and then a break up takes place in dramatic manner with clothes and other personal items get thrown out the window or in the garbage.Most times, the relationship just keeps sinking until someone says it's over.

How do you go about ending a relationship so that neither party gets hurt?

You need to understand why you want to end the relationship. The first reason that jumps into your mind may not be the real reason. Once you realize the real reason, the next step in ending a relationship is to be direct. That means that in your conversation with your partner that you are true to yourself and to them. It's better to do it in person rather than over the phone.

Thats one of the most important relationship advice I can give you. Don't put your partner on the defensive. Discuss the things you�ve learned and the memories you'll cherish. Be there during the break up. Your partner may become very emotional and you will need to respond to their needs.

Don't take anything that your partner may say personally, they may say things they don't really mean. They may have to meet with you several times to end the relationship.

But you have to be strong and don't let them make you feel guilty. You're ready to launch a new stage in your life and it won't be with your ex. It is a good idea if you preserve a positive connection of some sort with them, but if you are ending the relationship with good intent, it is best for both of you.

Should you ever think of reconnecting? Does ending a relationship always mean it's over for good?

It's a choice you have to make. Nearly all relationships can be kept alive if certain situations are met. If you are commited to find the time and are willing to generate the effort, you can move through this time as an even stronger couple.

by Bob Fernicola

Build Trust in a Relationship - 6 Great Ways

If you are looking to build trust in a relationship, here are six ways to start.

One, you want to be predictable, consistent and steady. Being reliable day in and day out builds trust. This doesn't mean be boring, it means giving your partner the ability to trust that you will act or respond in a certain way to various situations.

Two, what you say needs to match the message you are giving. Don't say you are happy but look depressed. This does not build trust.

Three, this might seem obvious, but it needs to be said - honesty. Keeping secrets in a relationship can be one of the quickest ways to destroy trust. Just assume everything will eventually come out, be honest.

Four, tell your partner what you need. Be open about what you want in the relationship as an individual. Don't be selfish, but in time if your needs aren't being met you won't be happy in the relationship. This might take some courage to share your needs, but it will be worth it in the long run.

Five, it is okay to say no. While it's great to tell your partner what you need and want, you don't always have to say yes. Trust can be built by you not knuckling under to every request by your partner.

Six, you want to grow, growth occurs through talking and sharing. Sometimes it might be difficult but it is a good thing.

Through building trust in a relationship, you might encounter some rough patches, but these will make you a better person and strengthen your relationship

by John Roberts

5 Ways To Get Over your Heart Break

Research shows that love has an effect on the pleasure centers in our brains just as with any addiction this makes it very difficult to get over.

So we must remember that love effects us neurologically as well as emotionally, these techniques will help you to get started with this process of getting over your broken heart.

If you are dealing with the grief and pain associated with heart break, here are five ways to help yourself get over it

Tip # 1

Take 5 -10 minutes every day to think about and visualize what you would like to have in the future. Imagine a life with someone else picture what attributes they have and how great this future relationship will be.

Tip # 2

Spend some time to feel good about yourself - take time out for some exercise, breathing, walk on the beach or through the forest ... use this time to think of the new future, anytime you dwell on the past breakup, change your thought - this is a conscious thought, just be aware of what you are thinking and change it!

Tip # 3

Firstly create a new exercise regime or join the gym. Start eating well, go through your wardrobe and get rid of any clothes you don't feel great in. Give yourself a makeover, search the internet for some natural treatments that you can do yourself, it needn't cost the earth!. The effort will be worth it.

Tip # 4

Be wonderful to yourself.Get away for the weekend - this will help you get out of your daily routine.

Alternatively enroll in a class or start a new creative hobby - join a new group so that you're out and about on a regular basis. Dancing or sports are fantastic because you are moving endorphins will be released in your brain which are happy hormones.

Tip # 5

Practice flirting! You may not be ready to find someone new but flirting with somebody completely new is great, it doesn't have to be romantically, use this time to practice your people skills, Say hello to someone that you find attractive, give a flirty smile and let your gaze linger a few seconds longer than you would normally.

A little bit of flirting is a great way to get into the groove and feel alive again.

by Tracey Todd

Women, Are You Making This Mistake in Your Relationship?

You are with that special someone and you think he maybe the one. He could be Mr. Right Now or hopefully Mr. Right for the Long-haul. It is great that you are in a relationship and finally you have a man. You are now breathing a sigh of relief that you no longer have to go to yet another wedding with your male cousin or when your mother asks when is she going to get some grandkids you can now tell her that you and your fiance are discussing it. You feel proud be a "we" and no longer in a table for one please position.

However, as happy as I am for you that you are now in a relationship chances are sooner or later you are going to commit one of the biggest mistakes most women make when they get involved in a relationship. And I say most women, because women are usually the ones lamenting over their husbands or boyfriends who seem to not have any interest in putting in time for the relationship. Although there are men who also fall into the same category as some women and as such this applies to them also. If you happen to be in a non-traditional relationship this applies to you too or your partner depending on who is committing the mistake.

What is this big mistake that a lot of you women are committing in your relationship? Well, most of you have your own identity in your life and you are happily single while looking for a relationship. However, it seems that you took out your identity on a loan while waiting for Mr. Right and as soon as you meet him and enter into a relationship you return your identity to the bank since it was a loan. In the relationship you focus so much on: What does he want? What is he feeling? Where is he going? Who is he with? What is he thinking? Does he want to be with me? Does he love me? Are we going to be together for the long haul? Hold on, finally a "we" question. For a second there it seemed as if there was no "we". Yes, I'm being facetious. Why, because there is still no "you" in any of those questions. It is a safe bet to say that he is asking himself the same questions you are asking with one difference. He is replacing the words "he" for "I". Yes, he is asking himself if he wants this, if he loves you enough to marry, to have children with. Therein lies the problem and the catalyst for women making the biggest mistake in their relationship.

Ladies, unless you are his attending physician, it is not your responsibility to think like him or to know what he wants for the relationship without him saying so. That's his job. Any mature and responsible adult man will know what he wants and does not need a woman to think for him. It is actually an insult for anyone to try and think for you when you are quite capable of thinking for yourself. When a woman begins to think like a man or for a man she is giving the man room to be selfish. If you are thinking like him and for him what does he have left to do? He will realize that you want the relationship so badly that you will try to work it out thus leaving him with nothing to do but just show up to please you and or for you to shut up.

In these types of unhealthy relationships there is always one person who is willing to do anything for the relationship. Women are the ones who are programmed to support their husbands and to stand by them. Women were taught from an early age beginning with the interactions they witnessed as children between their parents that they should suffer for their relationship and they should understand their man. However, men received an opposite programming that doesn't change until they realize that their behaviour and their thinking is immature and both need to change, received they will always be suffering for their relationship.

Therefore women will always be suffering for their relationship until they learn to develop their own identity and stop needing a man to define them. There are a large number of women who are complaining about the insensitivity, selfishness, self-centeredness and self-absorbed attitudes of their husbands or boyfriends. A woman is often left confused because her partner can be giving her signals that he wants a relationship with her, but when she responds favorably he backs away. This gives the woman two simultaneous reactions. She is excited that he is finally showing interest, but then at the same time he is backing off. So she sticks it out trying to be patient and understanding. Based on her programming she will conclude that maybe he's afraid to love but it also leaves her confused especially if she has been on this merry-go-round for sometime. Maybe you are that woman. However, while you are doing all the thinking for him and trying to understand him, who is thinking like you and for you? Obviously, it's not him since it's the reason why you are thinking like him and for him in the first place.

Most females if not all has a unique relationship with the word "selfish". I really do believe that after learning to say Mommy and Daddy "selfish" is the first word we learned the meaning of before learning how to say it. I'm sure men learned the word also, but they learned it when they looked in the dictionary or while coming up on the word in a book. Women on the other hand were surprised to find out that the word selfish was also in the dictionary. They thought it was a female thing. Women were taught that pretty, well-behaved girls should not be selfish. They must share their toys, dresses, food and whatever that belonged to them. Heaven forbid if they were to fuss. They were reprimanded and reminded that they must learn to share. Once sharing began there was calm and the little girls were left without their favorite toys. This is not to say that little boys were not taught how to share, but not necessarily to the extent that they should sacrifice their favorite G-I Joe's or Gameboys to their friends. The messages female received, combined with what they saw their mothers and other females doing, were brought over into adulthood. But instead of sacrificing her favorite toy, she is now sacrificing herself for her relationship.

Being in a relationship is not about changing who you are to match the other person, rather it is about two mature individuals coming together to share their lives with each other. You should still have your friends with whom you can go out with for a ladies night out without the men every once in awhile. You should also have your alone time to reflect and meditate. Your mate should also have his time with his friends and also his alone time. Of course there should be the utmost trust and respect between the two of you.

Never sacrifice who you are for your relationship. If you are giving more and more of yourself just to keep your relationship afloat then it's time to rethink your priorities. When the relationship ends you are now lost and struggling to find yourself. You forget the things you use to do because you gave them up for your relationship. Your friends have disappeared because your relationship took up all your time and they didn't have a man anyway so you couldn't relate to them anymore.

If you are not mature enough to work on yourself when you are single, meaning having a better relationship with yourself, with money and life, then you are not ready to be married or to be in any kind of relationship. If you think that when you get married you have to give up the things you did when you were single then you are not ready for marriage. Marriage is not the place to begin growing yourself. It is also not the place to figure out who you are. That should be done before getting married. A marriage is where two people continue growing while being together. Many people view getting married as a fun cool thing to do when they can be called Mr & Mrs. So&So.

By Trudy-Ann Ewan

Relationship: A Night of Passion

Intimacy and passion are significant in a relationship. A relationship is lifeless and boring if it lacks in passion and intimacy. Update your relationship with a night of passion. Get intimacy and passion in your relationship. A relationship tends to become boring if you start losing the intimacy and passion. You need to enjoy being together in an intimate way. Make your intimate time together special. Surprise your mate with a candle night dinner, soft music, a bottle of wine and a variety of passionate things for your lover to be together.

Do things together. Go to bed at night together. Happy partner never resist going to bed together. Walk hand in hand and feel the intimacy between the two of you. Hug each other when you meet after a break. Let that passion grow to strengthen the relationship. For a healthy relationship intimacy is very important. Physical intimacy helps you bring your soul together thus strengthens the relationship. It is a part of healing and rebuilding your relationship. Although it is difficult and awkward in the beginning yet it is crucial. Intimacy is very important in a relationship.

A relationship that is based on both emotional and physical intimacy is guaranteed to be successful and long lasting. A relationship does not last long if there is no emotional attachment between the partners. Emotions work like magnets that hold the partners together. How do you know that you are emotionally attached to your partner? Well! If you care for your lover, are worried about your partner and have respect then it is an indication of emotional attachment.

The couples, who are close to each other, feel for each other and at the same time show their love and care outwardly never face shortcomings in their relationship. It has been well said, “If you love somebody show it”. Love, if not expressed outwardly dies. Physical intimacy is equally important along with emotional intimacy to let your love grow. If you love your partner show it .While taking a walk just hold the hand of your lover or stop to give a gentle kiss. When you return from work give a warm hug to your mate.

Intimacy is all about caring, loving, honesty, openness with each other and respect for each other. You should respect each other and be open with each other. It is then that you will feel a close bond between the two of you. A relationship with this kind of intimacy is strong and stable.

A passionate lover is the one all are looking for. If you are a passionate lover there is always a kind of energy and excitement in your relationship. This passion never lets your love fade. There is a kind of zeal in the relationship that keeps up the excitement between the partners.

By Julia Jones